Preggie Mind and body

I haven't written neither on this blog or my journal in a long time as I haven't quite found what I wanted to say. Since stopping work, I have been in quite a daze of sorts and have a list of things that I am to get done in the next few weeks. Have been feeling a bit of pressure and also a bit lost at times. And when I worry, my escapist attitude returns and I must admit that I haven't been very disciplined in my habits lately which I fear is not too good for both me and the baby. Staying up late. Not walking enough. Eating out too much. Eating some junk. I keep telling myself that odd indulgence at home is ok but I think every other day makes it far too regular. 

Then on Sat I got some test results from the doc that says I have this thing called the GBS. Basically some bacteria that 10-35% of women carry and that means I may have to be on antibiotics. We have to go to another doc to figure out which course of antibiotics I wanna take but this just means I have another slight 'complication' thrown into the mix. I am not going to have a water birth and I may need a drip during labor possibly. It is kind of upsetting. I have been a bit more emotional of late somehow. Luckily Naoki is pretty sensitive to me. I feel like I am thrown back to the first trimester where I have all these tiny knots around my chest and my head. This GBS is not that big a deal but like everything else that is not quite the usual, it has its risks and statistics. At the moment, I guess I am trying to focus on the bright side of things that I can still have a natural delivery.

Other worries involve Puchi being in the right position. Though it has been corrected and last Sat, Puchi is still pronounced growing quite healthily, because of my last two experiences, I tend to be a bit paranoid. I keep waiting to feel Puchi's kick at the top of my belly to reassure myself that Puchi is ok and alright. I am also worried about my diet. I now try to eat at home but its different feeding yourself and other people feeding you. I can't wait for my mom to come!!

Apart from that, am enjoying Puchi growing stronger and heavier everyday. It's kinda silly but I do complain about feeling the weight of Puchi against my bladder. It makes me feel like I need to go to the toilet but I don't actually have to go. It's just the constant feeling of something pushing against my pee button. Not very comfortable. Also, Puchi's movements have changed quite a bit. Now I feel obvious tickles of her hands/fingers at the bottom of my belly, near the pelvic bones at my sides. And instead of the old sharp kicks, I get this feel of a tennis ball pushing against my belly. It's like Puchi is stretching in a slow deliberate way inside. Sometimes I feel like it is stretching out like a starfish and just wouldn't relax. I have had to stop in the middle of the road a couple of times just to ask Puchi to relax or I feel like I couldn't move. Goodness knows what contractions will feel like! Well, I guess I will find out soon enough.

We have also gone for a few birth preparation classes. A sling workshop on how to carry Puchi and another one touching a little on breastfeeding and life post-birth. The sling workshop was really quite fun. I got to see how Naoki may handle Puchi and he even got this 5kg sandbag to practise with. He looked quite fatherly to me despite the latest sharp mohawk I cut for him. As for me, I got this toy doll and I got a lil choked up handling the doll and imagining Puchi in my arms and on my chest. I hope I am careful enough to handle such a precious fragile thing.

Hmm.. on nice happenings in the last few days.. 

Well, we had a double-date night out which drained me quite a bit but left me feeling very happy. It felt quite romantic going about this late night aquatic exhibit at the top of Roppongi Hills. Will post some photos in my standard Tomato blog.

Also made a trip to a bazaar at a Catholic kindergarten which reminded me much of my own kindergarden days but the compound was huge. Make that about 10 times my mini classroom last time. It felt good to be amongst so many kids and imagining how Puchi will be running about like them. Some of them were so adorable. Some a lil hard to manage. Some dressed up to the nines in very chic casual fashion. We managed to get some good pieces at the flea market sale they had.

Naoki has been more than I can hope for and he puts in extra effort to care and ask after me cos he understands how I am quite alone here. His work schedule is still mad as usual and he comes home very late on weekdays (usual is 11pm and after) but he always makes it a point to clear his weekends so we can spend quality time together which is very nice. For me, I let him go release his stress at the climbing gym on one of the weekend evenings without me cos I know that keeps him sane from the work. Poor guy, he just told me he dreamt of work this morning. I feel bad clouding him with so many details of preparation reminding him we must buy this and that and get stuff ready but he rolls with it. Actually I blab so much just to get it sorted in my head most of the time and I don't always mean we need to get XYZ now.

No photos of late cos my dear Canon S80 is under repair once again. Really need to get a camera case for it and that now goes on my current 26-and-counting list of to-dos. I did have a professional photo shoot done recently which I hope to get some jpgs and share with everyone soon. It is just to commemorate this moment in time where Puchi and I are one.

Well, this turned out to be a longer blab than I had expected but I feel a bit better throwing them out on cyberspace. Knowing that I can share all these random stuff with you.

Love,

Puchimama