For those who remember, K's godmama gave her a Keizilla sized bunny doll for her birthday last year. She never really took to it as how she did her other soft toys apart from the occasional hug when I prompt her to. I suppose it is too heavy for her to take it around and cuddle like she does with the rest.
But since we got home from SG and put Bunny Bananas on her square mat where Keina loves to sit on the ex-nursing cushion, she's had some interesting exchanges with Bananas. For example, when I gave her a spoon to play with, she mock-fed Bananas some food. Another time, I caught her offering her bottle to Bananas out of the blue. She also gave Bananas a cup the other day. I'm not sure if play-acting starts so young but it is interesting to see how she imitates my behavior.
I don't think her actions are out of a sense of nurture either but she really embraces the concept of sharing- always offering people around her a bite of her food, gesturing for me to open my mouth so she could help brush my teeth. Earlier this evening, as she stood in the bathtub waiting for me to finish my shower so I could help her with hers, she asked for some water and proceeded to wet her hands to wet her hair as I did whilst shampooing!
This is really the best thing about motherhood, no matter how tiring it gets, every day, there are simple moments where I am either surprised by her novel actions or tickled by her reactions. Say for example, how a bus can send her screeching in delight or how she seems to knowingly embarrass me by constantly calling out mama at the top of her lungs in the train despite me being right next to her.
At this moment I am still unsure of how I will get back to earning a salary. Went to the ward office this morning just to enquire what the next step will be after I got rejected a second time from my nursery application and I know I wasn't that interested to hear but listened anyway out of obligation. Some strange sense of obligation to at least try to imagine letting go of my baby girl.
Every other day since being back in Tokyo, I find myself asking aloud the rhetorical question- are you my baby? As if trying to get a grip on reality. Truth be told, when I was wrapped up digging back into my old social life with my girlfriends and 'dating' Naoki, I found it very easy to forget but when I am back in Tokyo 'stuck' with Keina for all day, I am entranced by her again. I wonder if we were in Singapore, would I let go more easily and would I regret it?
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